Balancing Faith, Identity, and Work: Do you bring your whole self to the workplace?

Discover strategies to embrace your beliefs while earning respect from your employer. Learn how to strike a balance between staying true to your values and fitting into the workplace culture without compromising either. Join us for insights on navigating religious accommodations and thriving in a diverse work environment.

Transcript

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[Music]
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s today with your host Charlene
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Authority and leadership development and
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Hala an expert Community Builder the Pod
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all about best practices to get you
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noticed and ahead in your professional
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life
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hello
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good afternoon Charlene how you doing
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I'm good how are you doing I am good
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it's good to be back here at end of the
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week this time but yeah miss that this
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felt like a a lot packed in we are going
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through religious holidays right now
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it's like the season
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um and um so so there's just like a lot
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happening
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it's true it's true and it gets it gets
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a little bit crazy that back to school
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season and everything else going on it's
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true yes which actually I think led to
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the topic for today because it was on
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the Forefront of our minds is balancing
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Faith identity and work and and really
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the conversation that Hawaii you and I
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were having was do you bring your whole
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self to the workplace so why don't why
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don't we start there what does that even
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mean to you okay okay well I'll start
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with legally right legally by law
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employers are uh are required to respect
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your whole self your cultural background
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your religious background your sexual
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identity your you know your sexuality
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whatever it is the employer is required
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by law to respect it but requirement by
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law is very different than the Practical
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effect of when you're at work so what is
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it what does it mean when you're at work
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do you actually you know take advantage
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of these laws that are there to protect
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us do you actually say Hey listen it's
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my religious holiday I know nobody else
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is taking a break but I'm out of here
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even though there's a big deal going on
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right now would you take off in that
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case Charlene yeah I think that
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at different ages and stages I've
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probably made different
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um
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uh different choices I feel like my
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hardest time was actually like through
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University
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um was I found that the most difficult
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time to just be like goodbye and and I
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wonder if that really just comes from
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you know there's like power dynamics
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involved and I wonder how much all of
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this is stemming from our uncertainty
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with the being
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and living in a world where we're not
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sure how people are going to respond and
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just this you know last week I had a
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conversation with my son about we had
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hockey practice and it was like not
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during services but it was still on a
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religious day and what were we gonna do
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and you know I know he was really
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nervous for me to email the coach and be
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like hey you know this just just like
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sometimes that and this is like to me
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the saddest part that that this the
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saddest part is that this is even a
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question right like yeah we should all
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and I'm gonna respect your holidays
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you're gonna respect my holidays you're
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going to respect my identity and and all
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respect your identity and all of these
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things that that come with it and we
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don't live in a world where we're like
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oh no what are they going to say because
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of X Y or Z now of course I emailed the
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coach and the coach was like great
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thanks for letting me know like
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literally zero problems but we Build It
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Up in our head to be like how how many
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people am I letting down
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I think that's true and I think that it
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has a lot to do with our confidence and
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our sense of self and in America I do
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think that a lot of people's identity is
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wrapped into the profession that they
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have and I think part of this becomes a
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struggle between what is your identity
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is your identity this new professional
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identity that you're creating through
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your career or is your identity the
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cultural religious sexual Heritage
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background whatever it is that you have
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um I actually think that like your your
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coach like your hockey coach was most
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people are respectful if you say this is
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my religious holiday I can't come I have
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yet to meet an employer or anybody say
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no to that or have a problem with it the
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only time in my experience there is a
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problem with it is if you don't do your
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work if you you know if you've had a lot
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of other days off right then it becomes
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a problem but if you're set up your
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fellow employer you know your your
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colleagues and you've done all your work
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you've set everybody up you're not
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taking off every other day
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I don't believe that anybody really has
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a problem with it they have a certain
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amount of respect if you know who you
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are and you stand your ground I I think
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you jumped into exactly what the the
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second topic is it's communication and
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preparedness which you and I have talked
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about uh probably a dozen times right
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and this is like similar to when you're
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going away on vacation how are you
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setting people up for success and you
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know for for an example of Archer and
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ice time like okay so he lost that ice
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time where is he making it up
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um for us at work okay you know you're
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gonna be absent
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um that day how do you and I'm not
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saying you have to like take on a
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different eight hours a different day I
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think it's just how are you
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communicating because I think like like
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I just want to live in a world where
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like I you know okay so I Monday is a
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holiday so I'm gonna take off Monday but
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you're gonna take off three weeks from
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now for a different holiday and we're
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just gonna that's just gonna be it
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um I know we touched upon this on the
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last podcast that we talked about I do
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think a lot of this has to do with
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relationships because no matter how much
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you communicate effectively and you say
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something you might as a person feel
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that you don't have
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um the confidence to or you know
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to to be able to take off that time
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without being judged by it and you were
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talking about these power dynamics if
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you have a relationship with someone
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that's positive and good that power
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Dynamic differential kind of doesn't
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feel as strong and you know where it
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matters and where it doesn't and if you
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don't have that collegial relationship
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not just like effective communication
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but something where you feel comfortable
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and confident with your boss with your
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co-workers with your colleagues then it
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doesn't become as big of an issue I
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actually love what you just said tonight
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and I think it should be our third point
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which is confidence because I I just
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wonder how much of all of the questions
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surround confidence and maybe what are
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some ideas we can give people to gain
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that confidence when when it's missing
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and and this is about bringing any part
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of yourself to work
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um because I really feel we live whole
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lives and it's not like we can be like
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okay this very serious thing happened to
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me and now I'm turning it off and I I
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think there was decades where that was
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the case but I just don't think in 2023
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that's where we are so how would you
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suggest someone gain confidence in there
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on another day we're going to talk about
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Severance have you watched that no
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oh my gosh yeah that that's interesting
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we'll leave that for another time with
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respect to bringing your whole self or
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not okay how do you gain confidence at
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work
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um God bless people who naturally have
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it because there are people who
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naturally do I think if you don't have
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confidence make a friend who does have
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confidence at work it doesn't
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necessarily have to be someone who is a
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mentor to you it could be just somebody
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else who's filled with confidence
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because then when you say to them oh my
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God I'm really not sure about this
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you're going to say what are you talking
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about you can do it go for it it's not a
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big deal a tick tock going around for a
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while of every introvert should have an
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extroverted buddy to like ask the store
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for help
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um yeah so I I love that and continuing
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along the theme of relationships
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um let's say you're trying to ask for a
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day off for a religious holiday
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um and and this is something you were
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really nervous about
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um I know role playing is like the most
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awkward thing in the world but I think
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role playing with another person is
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better than I don't know if you're like
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up at night like replaying it or even
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worse replaying it after you already did
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it in your head 700 times and so just
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you know write out a little script for
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yourself find someone to go over it with
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and and then you know state it
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confidently and I think there's also
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something to be said for
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um by taking the days we need we are
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going to do a better job on the days we
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are there because otherwise people and
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if you're a supervisor or someone
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um you're in play will just end up being
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resentful of you right they're just
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gonna say like forget it I'll find
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somewhere else I agree with you and
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being a fan of Technology when it can be
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good for you I look I think you can also
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role play with Siri and role play with
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chat gbt you know what I
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I like ask it to ask me questions where
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I'm like if I'm like I'm like I'm
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thinking about this problem what
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questions should I ask okay 100 right
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and as always by the way folks do it in
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as advanced time as possible like if you
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want to you know if you want to take off
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on Monday please don't go asking on
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Friday or Thursday if you know it's a
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religious holiday that's coming you
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could even say it at the very beginning
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of the year like you know these are the
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days that I'm gonna be off because these
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are my religious holidays I'm not going
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to be here put me on projects you know
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that aren't necessarily you know being
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highlighted at that time because if your
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employer knows those are the terms of
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the employment then that's fine and you
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can also say Hey listen in return since
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I'm taking this holiday but I don't do
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the other one I'll come in on
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Thanksgiving I used to work every
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Christmas right yeah and I think in
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those cases a lot of times employees end
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up valuing you and appreciating the fact
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that you're putting in time where they
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don't need to worry about when they take
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off I would say my last thing is
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consistency and transparent fancy like
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it's not going to work if you've been at
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a company for five years and says oh all
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of a sudden the first year if you have
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become more religious or you have become
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you know if your identity has changed in
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any way then that's a conversation with
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your supervisor of hey I know I've been
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here four years
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um I this is like just letting you know
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in my personal life I'm starting to
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practice x y and z
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um is it possible you know I'd like to
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now make these accommodations
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um but but so just really like that
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transparency if this is the first time
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you're doing it
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um because I really think people
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appreciate a journey of any kind and
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being
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um in the loop of it and and knowing
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like okay this is where my employees are
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at and that's great and I want to
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support that because I think at the end
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of the day people do actually want to
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support you
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um yeah I think so I think so maybe
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maybe not all right so we're gonna
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summarize this and make it not your
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family fantastic workplace and we can
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talk about that at a different time
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that's right we can talk about bringing
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your whole self or not to work on
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another day completely but with respect
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to religious holidays and taking it you
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know and taking off again communication
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communication communication is key try
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and do it ahead of time if you can
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um set your colleagues up as we've
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talked about before and confidence how
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do you gain that confidence role play
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great idea that Charlene Gabe find
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yourself a buddy you know every
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non-confident person should have a
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confident friend
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yes
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all right thanks everyone and we will
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see you next time
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we hope you found our discussion
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in we'll see you next time bye bye folks



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