Two Minds Today

Trust Today

Charlene Green and Haleh Resnick

The role of trust and communication in the workplace.

Is trust in the workplace important? We say yes! So, how do we gain it? Listen in for some advice on how to gain trust:

  1. Trust builds slowly 
  2. Trust takes time
  3. Be honest with mistakes
  4. Remember not to gossip
  5. Approach relationships with an open heart- even at work!

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[Music]


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hello hi hello how are you good hey


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Charlene it's so good to see you I love


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that countdown like builds the


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anticipation having the conversation


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with you it does it's like a little


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party all right we are attempting a live


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live I think we are live live so


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um check it out on Earth the real deal I


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know right this is awesome


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so hi everyone I am Charlene and Helena


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and I are here talking about two lines


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today talking about best practices in


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your business to get you ahead and today


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we are talking about trust


1:03

where does it come how do we build it do


1:06

we even need it in the workplace uh so


1:08

hold on let's start there he's like


1:09

where do you think trust even comes into


1:12

play in in the workplace look I think


1:15

trust is fundamental to all human


1:17

relationships right if you don't have


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trust you cannot build on anything to


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move ahead at all right even if even if


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you don't trust yourself right even if


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you don't have that trust with yourself


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you can't accomplish anything so trust


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to me it's fundamental to any working


1:33

relationship I don't think you can have


1:35

uh an effective good productive


1:38

workplace without having trust between


1:40

employees do you think so or not so much


1:44

yeah I think there's different levels of


1:47

trust I trust you do a but not be


1:49

sometimes um I with my kids like I trust


1:53

that I know that you stole snacks from


1:54

the pantry like


1:56

is that trust that's just you knowing


1:59

everything you know it's just like a


2:01

different use of that word trust I know


2:04

I know and you're like how did you know


2:06

and I'm like I know everything


2:09

um it's interesting to me to think about


2:12

trust in a work context because I firmly


2:15

believe you need it but I also think it


2:17

really takes time to build and it comes


2:21

after it it's we can all say on day one


2:25

and maybe that's true on day one


2:26

everyone has a certain level of trust


2:28

you are hired you're part of a team


2:32

um but to really sort of dig in and feel


2:34

like that partnership and working with


2:36

someone I think that takes time and


2:39

people proving themselves and and you


2:42

proving yourself as a manager as well


2:44

I think so and I think it starts with


2:47

the little things right and I think it's


2:49

hard as a manager to trust someone so I


2:52

would my advice to managers would be


2:54

start small give a small task and see


2:57

how it goes right but I think also as


3:00

employees


3:01

um you have difficulty with that because


3:03

you'll get a small task and you'll feel


3:05

like oh my boss is entrusting me that's


3:07

why they're giving me the small task but


3:10

the truth is that that trust gets built


3:12

by doing that small task the absolute


3:14

best of your ability


3:16

yeah I I agree with that I think it's


3:19

like one of those where even if we don't


3:21

mean to subconsciously we're like here's


3:23

a task you did so well I'm like great I


3:25

trust you to do a little bit more or it


3:27

came back a few times and I think for me


3:29

it's not um I am very task oriented but


3:32

it's not necessarily the success of the


3:34

task but it's like how you interacted


3:36

right did you do it wrong and never stop


3:39

to ask for help which is definitely a


3:41

mistake I made at my first job right I


3:43

was like I did something I did a job and


3:45

I had no idea what I was doing and I I


3:46

just was like I can do this


3:49

um and but so did you get a task did you


3:53

come back and ask questions when you


3:54

needed is it easy you know are it I hate


3:59

to say it but sometimes it does matter


4:00

if you're easy to work with right like


4:02

is it is it easy communication those in


4:05

my mind those kinds of things build


4:06

trust of like oh great they didn't know


4:08

what they're doing no problem but I can


4:11

like they came and they asked me and we


4:13

had a conversation we're able to build


4:14

towards success


4:16

I actually think that's the hardest


4:18

thing to do as an employee whether


4:20

you've been there for many years


4:22

or whether it's your


4:24

um it's your first week on the job


4:26

because you are making yourself


4:27

vulnerable and say I made a mistake my


4:29

bad and I think people think that when


4:32

they say that it shows that they are not


4:34

they don't have the expertise that they


4:36

need to have but the reality is that if


4:39

you're honest it shows confidence and it


4:41

shows that you are somebody who's


4:44

trustworthy and that's the basis of


4:46

trust right because your boss will know


4:48

even if you don't know how to do it


4:49

you're going to step forward you've got


4:51

character you've got and I think that


4:53

that is the hardest thing to do because


4:55

the minute you say you don't know how to


4:57

do it then you wonder whether you're


5:00

good enough for the role at all


5:03

yeah I I think that is such a hard it's


5:08

so hard to stop and ask how to do


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something especially


5:12

especially early in your career but


5:14

frankly anytime right anytime that we


5:16

think that like we're doing great or we


5:19

don't know how to do something we're


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it's almost the opposite effect right


5:23

like we're worried we're gonna lose the


5:25

trust when we ask for help but then on


5:28

the other hand that's probably what what


5:30

builds Bridges and game stressed


5:34

it is true I do think that


5:38

is Loyals is but kudos to anyone who can


5:41

do it I will tell you a story


5:43

um I sat on a board Once Upon a Time and


5:46

in this board we had uh a director who


5:49

was constantly making mistakes and


5:52

coming in front of the board and not


5:53

delivering what you needed her to


5:56

deliver she just was not doing this


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yet she would come in front of the board


6:01

and say my bad my fault I did the wrong


6:04

thing my fault and the crazy part is


6:07

that this board had such trust in her


6:09

that they did they're like you know what


6:11

not everyone is perfect not everyone has


6:14

everything not everybody knows how to do


6:16

everything and so we want this person


6:19

because we know that this human being is


6:21

going to be honest with us is going to


6:22

do the job and knows where her limits


6:24

are and we can help support that person


6:26

with somebody else so I I'm 100 agree


6:30

with you


6:31

what do you do if you're in a working


6:32

relationship where


6:35

um you know sometimes we can feel it


6:37

right we know we're not getting the jobs


6:38

we want we feel that we aren't getting


6:42

um so there isn't trust there is there a


6:45

way to repair it or at one point is it


6:47

is it too hard and you have to move on


6:51

well that that's an interesting question


6:53

I think that's when if you're in a large


6:54

corporate setting that might be the time


6:56

to uh go to uh a supervisor or someone


7:00

who might be giving the workloads and


7:02

and spreading out the work and saying


7:04

hey you know I haven't received this


7:05

kind of work can you help out because it


7:07

could be that it's not a function of


7:09

trust you're not getting the work you're


7:11

perceiving it that they're not trusting


7:12

you but really what's going on is that


7:16

um maybe they're not thinking of you


7:18

because they are more comfortable giving


7:20

the work to somebody else maybe the


7:23

supervisor is just isn't good at


7:24

training so it might not be a function


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of you not being trusted but a function


7:28

of that supervisor not delegating work


7:30

appropriately so sometimes in a larger


7:33

setting you you could do that I do


7:35

recommend though always to be direct


7:38

communication with the person who you


7:40

want to get the work from I think that's


7:42

got to be the first line of defense yeah


7:45

I think you said it's so accurately it's


7:47

such about how do we communicate with


7:49

those around us and and the feedback


7:51

loop like that's hard right I think one


7:54

of the hardest things we have to do and


7:56

I'm always of the mind of like


7:58

I'm super conscious of feedback because


8:00

I'm like where what is the outcome I


8:02

want to get and is giving the feedback


8:04

actually even going to get the outcome


8:06

I'm looking for so what when which


8:09

that'll be a whole other podcast so I


8:12

think in this case if you are an


8:13

employee that feels like there is no


8:15

trust absolutely set that time hopefully


8:17

you're having


8:18

um ongoing set times with your manager


8:22

where you can be kind


8:25

um and honest and say you know I'm


8:28

trying to think if someone came to me


8:29

and said hey I feel like you don't trust


8:30

me with that they're I'm pretty


8:32

transparent so the prop the answer is


8:33

probably like yeah I don't trust you


8:34

with that and so the question is you


8:37

know how do you if you start to have


8:40

open communication


8:41

how do you accept that right when you're


8:43

willing to ask the question so someone


8:45

comes to me right and says hey it feels


8:47

like you're not trusting me with X


8:48

Project and in my head I'm like yeah I'm


8:51

not because you kind of messed up the


8:52

last project and we talked about it so


8:54

then I you know so then let's say I


8:57

share some version of that with somebody


8:59

working for me


9:01

um you have to be ready to take that too


9:03

right if the answer is yeah we haven't


9:05

built that trust yet


9:07

um thank you for coming to me and I


9:09

appreciate it


9:10

um you have to be ready to to hear the


9:13

feedback don't you know don't ask


9:14

questions you don't want answers to I'm


9:16

like a firm believer in that


9:18

that that's actually a really good a


9:21

good point because I think about how


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often do we go to someone asking for


9:25

that feedback which we think we want


9:27

honest feedback but really we've got the


9:29

arguments in our head ready to defend


9:31

ourselves and say but that's not true I


9:33

did this and I helped you with that and


9:34

I'm really great at what I do and so we


9:36

already have the argument going trying


9:39

to say Hey listen we've and the truth is


9:42

you have to acknowledge if you're asking


9:44

someone a question and there's a


9:46

breakdown you have to acknowledge that


9:47

you're playing a park in that breakdown


9:49

because it's always a relationship even


9:51

if the part you're playing in the


9:52

breakdown is the inability to make


9:56

yourself be seen appropriately so you


9:58

did what you were supposed to do but the


10:00

other person didn't perceive it as such


10:01

right so even if it is that you didn't


10:03

do that's still on you right that's


10:05

still I think a bit on you in that


10:07

relationship let me ask you Charlene


10:09

would you go to your co-worker if you


10:13

think your boss is not trusting you


10:15

would you would you talk to to the other


10:17

people around that you think that you're


10:19

not trustworthy so I think the solid


10:21

answer is you should not right like the


10:23

quickest way to not be trustworthy is to


10:25

go around and and gossip right but I I


10:28

think that there's


10:30

um


10:31

this idea that like you can build


10:34

camaraderie with your peers right which


10:37

I would say this is not a great way to


10:38

do it but also a fact of life this is


10:40

sometimes the way we do it we like oh


10:42

can you believe XYZ did whatever


10:45

um so so I would say that look if the


10:49

root of the question that we're talking


10:50

about today is trust then you want to be


10:53

open transparent and honest and go into


10:55

the other people about somebody else is


10:58

not going to it may be like you know a


11:02

feel-good high in the moment of like


11:03

yeah everyone agrees with me nobody this


11:06

person doesn't trust anybody but in the


11:09

long run I I think you're setting


11:10

yourself up for failure so I I so then


11:13

how do you get that advice on how should


11:16

I be excuse me how should I be


11:18

approaching my my manager right because


11:22

I think a lot of times people go and ask


11:25

help from their from their co-workers


11:27

not always just to vet but also because


11:29

they're trying to figure out how gonna


11:31

approach this person have you had this


11:33

issue before so so my question is how do


11:37

you get that feedback then if you can't


11:39

it's not done in the vein of gossip


11:41

you're trying to do it in the vein of


11:43

what's the best way to approach so how


11:45

do you get that advice and not lose your


11:47

trustworthiness because I agree with you


11:49

gossiping is a Surefire way too yes not


11:52

do you trust me I I don't remember where


11:55

I heard this but it was really good


11:56

advice so credits to whoever said this


11:58

first is when you want to start with


12:01

feedback it's a good time to say hey


12:04

can I ask you a question is now a good


12:07

time to it's time and place right ask


12:10

your supervisor ask whatever and I even


12:12

do this with my kids right if I want to


12:14

tell them something that I know is going


12:15

to


12:17

um hurt them in the short term and be


12:19

effective in the long term I say is now


12:22

a good time for me to give you some


12:23

feedback on acts right and then they'll


12:26

say frankly they'll say yes or no right


12:28

and we take the temperature from there I


12:31

I think that in essence like trust is


12:34

absolutely a true waste rate it's a


12:36

little bit of time and building it also


12:38

is something that like you can build a


12:40

build it and then you do something and


12:41

you're starting over which is


12:43

heartbreaking and hard especially when


12:46

the intentionality behind it like you


12:49

know it's not there and I think if you


12:51

have a strong enough relationship with


12:53

with anybody and again builds over time


12:55

I would just ask the supervisor if if


12:58

it's somebody who supervises a whole


12:59

bunch of people and you're new to the


13:02

team absolutely be like hey I really


13:04

want to talk to to our supervisor


13:06

there's you know I have some questions


13:07

for them have you had any best practices


13:10

and the answers May range for me a gift


13:12

or they've had their coffee or like


13:14

don't do it on a Friday or or whatever


13:16

it is and I think soliciting the best


13:18

way to talk to somebody that somebody


13:20

else knows better is fine I think as


13:22

long as you're not crossing over into


13:23

this is what they did and this is what


13:25

I'm feeling I like okay right that's the


13:28

difference I really like how you ask for


13:31

the advice without giving the details of


13:34

the topic that you want to talk about so


13:36

I think like that's really the way to do


13:38

it right and so that you also in that


13:41

way get to understand how trustworthy


13:43

your co-worker is are they giving you


13:46

supportive advice or not or do they go


13:48

off the rails and say oh what's the


13:50

problem and what's what and I would say


13:52

be careful and be cautioned because


13:54

everyone wants to know what's going on


13:56

that if they dig and say oh why is it


13:58

what do you want to do what do you want


13:59

to ask I would say if you're new to the


14:01

place be very general oh I'm just


14:03

wondering I just need to know like I I


14:06

just want to you know just want to know


14:07

generally if it's okay to go in and talk


14:09

I wouldn't ex divulge any details not


14:13

even to the people who you think are are


14:15

close to you I think it's


14:18

yeah I I think look that's also the


14:21

fastest way you find out when you're


14:23

like I only said this to this person and


14:25

now this other person knows which that's


14:27

right I know we've all had happened and


14:29

I'm I'm like a pretty when I when I'm


14:32

like oh I told this person that and now


14:34

you're saying it to me I now know this


14:37

was good learning for me I know now I


14:39

cannot trust you and and not trusting


14:42

someone doesn't mean that you don't have


14:43

to have a bad relationship with them


14:45

right it just means they're not going to


14:46

be your go-to person for emotional


14:48

support and connection you can


14:50

absolutely have a positive and and


14:52

probably superficial relationship or


14:55

learn to know what you can trust them on


14:59

um but it's really just about about


15:00

navigating


15:02

that's true and I would say since we we


15:04

are nearing the end of our day together


15:06

I would say hey folks listen be careful


15:09

when it comes to matters of trust be


15:11

careful who you speak to work hard to


15:14

build it and know that you can trust


15:15

Charlene and I here if you have any


15:17

questions anything we are safe because


15:20

we're that objective Outsider and that's


15:23

always a great place to go so trust us


15:25

to be there for you on anything I don't


15:28

know Charlene you have any final words


15:30

to say for the for the week good advice


15:32

yeah I think always enter into


15:35

relationships open and honest and and


15:37

assuming everyone has the best of


15:39

intentions because sometimes we lose


15:41

that trust totally unintentionally and


15:44

everybody really had such


15:46

um good things at heart so so really


15:49

like don't don't write people off just


15:51

be open


15:52

um with why to you know open-eyed I love


15:55

that I love that have big hearts and


15:57

have a good week everybody and until


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next week you can find two minds today


16:02

anywhere podcaster found and of course


16:05

here on YouTube as you will find us live


16:07

every single week and hey remember to


16:10

learn a little more every day


16:12

guys bye

People on this episode